Didn't See It Coming?

Simon & Schuster, Inc. is a well respected and profitable publishing house whose stable of clients include the likes of Stephen King, Dan Brown, and Jeffery Deaver. However they currently find themselves in litigation with two individuals over money they were advanced, yet never produced their agreed autobiographies.

This probably wouldn't have hit me as hilarious except that the two people who were advanced the money were rappers "Foxy Brown" and "Lil' Kim". Adding to the hilarity is the fact that both of these ladies have been incarcerated; Brown for "violating probation arising from a fight with two manicurists" and Kim for "lying about a shooting". I guess it's hard to get your thoughts collected and down on paper with all that racket going on in the pokey.

WHO COULD HAVE SEEN THIS COMING?? It seems perfectly legitimate to give these two upstanding and presumably literate citizens advances of $75K and $40K to produce the stories of their lives. Who wouldn't want to read that book? I can hear the conversation in the S & S boardroom now:

Suit #1: Sales are down boys. We need a new cash cow to really punch up our bottom line for the year. Our projections are looking grim. Ideas?

Suit #2: Well...there is this one little project I've been working on. See, I was thinking that if we took about $115,000 and just lit it on fire, danced around it until the fire goes out, then peed on it, a money tree would sprout like a phoenix from the ashes and we'd have all the money we need!

Suit #3: You know, for the same money we COULD get some has-been, "hard core", feuding lady rappers to write the story of their lives. They could tell us about their hard-scrabble upbringing and their fight to get to the top of the male-dominated rap game. It could be HUGE!

Suit #1: I like the clip of your jib. While the money tree sounds promising, the rapperess idea is almost a lock. Are you sure $115,000 will get it done? There could be a bidding war for an idea this sure-fire...

Suit #3: All we can do is say a little prayer. I'll get on the horn.

Honestly, who's running the show up there at S & S, Inc.? Some dude in a yurt on a Valium laced peyote trip??

Here's the link to the story on USA Today's site: Link BI-ATCH!